


Nobody gets murdered today

by Ceciliedr



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Batbrothers (DCU), Crossover, Dimension Travel, Family, Tim is a bit of a troll, could probably be rated gen, there was an attempt at humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22334371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceciliedr/pseuds/Ceciliedr
Summary: After landing themselves in another dimension, Tim and Damian have a run-in with the Avengers. Tim hasn’t had enough caffeine to deal with any of this.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Damian Wayne
Comments: 31
Kudos: 808





	Nobody gets murdered today

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to dip my toes in writing for a new fandom, after I became kinda obsessed with fics featuring the bat family. And since there weren't enough crossover fics in my humble opinion, I decided to add my own. 
> 
>   
> Fair warning, most of my knowledge on the Bats come from other fanfics.

How did he even get into this sort of situations? It couldn’t be natural, yeah they did seek out weird shit sometimes, but still. Tim rubbed his eyes over the domino mask.

“Nobody gets murdered today.”

“We weren’t exactly planning on killing the kid.” Tim looks back down at his computer screen, raising an eyebrow at the man on the other side of the video call. Tony stark also know as Ironman and the rest of the Avengers are in what looks like a conference room, more than likely somewhere in Stark tower. Minus Thor who is probably off-world somewhere. Tony is out of armor and Banner isn’t hulked out. 

“I wasn’t talking to you.” He focuses on the handcuffed Robin in the middle of them. “Your listing to me demon spawn? B is gonna be pissed if you kill any of them.”

Damian just let out his characteristic -tt-, not deeming it worthy of an answer. Seriously the next time they get sent to another dimension, he is gonna put the kid on a leash from the beginning. The little demon will definitely stab him for it, but goddamnit it would almost be worth it.

Tim hasn’t had enough coffee to deal with this.

Ironman ignores the exchange, while Black Widow keeps an eye on Damian’s hands. Proving who’s the smarter one of the two.

“How about you give us some answers kid?”

“Don’t think so.” Tims’s main focus returns to his other computer, just out of view.

“We just want to help,” Cap says, like anyone would take advice from someone who looked at the American flag and thought, hey this will make a great hero costume. “You are both too young to be caught up in all of this.”

And here we go.

“-tt- unlike your fumbling buffoons I have been trained to kill since birth.”

“They did catch you.” Tim feels the need to remind him, and can feel the force of Damian’s glare trough both his mask and the screen.

“Do to sheer luck on their part I assure you, I can get myself out of this situation whenever I see fit.”

“No serious maiming either.”

“-tt-”

The Avengers seem to still be stuck on the whole assassin child part. Widow is the first one to shake it, her entire face turning murderers.

“Who trained you?”

Her tone would have anyone not used to dealing with Batman shaking in their boots, both Banner and Hawkeye flinch at hearing it.

“Don’t answer that.” Tim injects before Black Widow can start a vendetta against the League of shadows, as awesome as that would be. Ra’s deserves the trouble. 

“Like I would share sensitive information with our enemies.” Damian sends him an offended look.

“We are not your enemies, we want to help you.” Cap tries again.

“Great you could start by releasing Robin.”

“Can’t do that kiddo,” Ironman says “he attacked a Shield agent.” 

Yeah because the little brat has absolutely no patience and was determined to shatter Tims as well. It had taken them less than a day to identify the mysterious spy organization known as Shield as the ones with the most information. Hacking them shortly afterward had been childs play. Finding out they were apparently compromised, yeah Tim really wished Damian’s first reaction hadn’t been to attack one of said compromised agents to get more information that way.

They really didn’t need to have the Avengers breathing down there necks. Tim didn’t think the group knew the full story about Shield, but he wasn’t taking that chance at the moment.

“And I’m sure he feels very sorry about that and won’t do it again.” Or at least not get caught next time.

A snort from Hawkeye, the guy is robbing absentmindedly at his bandaged overarm. The little demon would have rather died than come quietly, as proved by the multitude of cuts and bruises covering most of the group. Hopefully, he wouldn’t take off without backup next time.

“Why don’t you come in? We can talk face to face, get both of you some help. Kids shouldn’t wear masks.” Damian glares at Steve, looking about two seconds away from stabbing him. Tim loudly clears his throat and gives a small shake of his head, before the brat can go for one of the hidden knives the group undoubtedly missed.

If they are that against him and Damian fighting now, they would have a field day if they ever found out exactly how long they had been doing this for, or what kind of scares their costumes keeps hidden.

“Yeah, I really don’t think so.” Tim’s fingers continue to fly over the keyboard “being held prisoner is not my idea of a fun afternoon.”

“It’s just a matter of time before we locate you and-” 

Damian interrupts. “Red Robin my patience with these imbeciles are wearing thin.”

“I’m working on it,” yes giving that information away is stupid, but he doesn’t care at this point. “And don’t get captured next time or we are gonna start calling you boy hostage as well.”

“I am perfectly capable of escaping on my own.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to.” Because they are family, also Tim is not dealing with the fallout of this little adventure on his own. As soon as they are home he is planning to use Damian as a sacrificial lamb, leaving him to Dick’s mother henning while Tim makes a quiet escape.

“Are you going to attack us kid?” Stark sounds amused.

“Well you did make your headquarters into the biggest target I have seen in a long time, its a miracle someone hasn’t already.”

“Your lack of proper precautions is pitiful.” Damian somehow manages to look down his nose at Ironman, even though he is still a good deal shorter than the man. Just one of his unique talents.

“You should really work on that going forward.” Tim agrees. Right now the oversight just makes his life easier.

“You two could give us a hand with that?” Bloody hell, did that man ever stop? Tim pauses for a second to level Steve with his best batglare, noticing with no small amount of glee, that it makes the man squirm.

“Captain, it’s highly unlikely that you will see us again after today and trying to find us will be a waste of resources.” Someone back home would have picked up their trail by now and called Zatana. Even if they have to find their one way back home, he and Damian can stay hidden until they do that. But the chances of that happening are slim to none. Their family is to used to weird things happening at this point, they have too many contingency plans in place.

“Getting a little ahead of yourself there kid, we still have your… ally?” Tim can all but see the calculations running behind Stark’s eyes, he isn’t considered a genius for nothing.

“He’s my brother actually,” Tim decides to confirm the conclusion the other man has undoubtedly already reached. He has already kept them talking long enough, the open line of the call saving him some time.

“Solely because I actually have some manners, I will give you guys one last chance to release Robin and we can each go our own way as semi-friendly colleges.” There, Alfred would be proud.

“And if we say no?”

Tim notices the smile slowly spreading on Damians face, the same one that makes every thug and lowlife in Gotham shiver and caused more than a few of them to run the other way.

“I would say your funeral, except we don’t kill.” Tim decides to be nice, just in case this really is the good guys and they have no idea who they are sometimes working for. “Word of advice, we only scratched the surfaced of the problems with Shield, so unless you guys are part of something called Hydra, well then you really need to look into that.”

Tim presses the last button on his keyboard to set his plan in motion. Tonys tech has been trying to locate his position the entire call, unaware of how open to a counter-attack that leaves him.

He has only a split second to take in the Avenger’s faces slack with shock, before the building goes to hell. All the alarms start blaring, the light goes out at the same time the sprinklers go off. All the automatic doors and windows on that entire floor busting open.

It only takes a few seconds for the Avenger’s voices to join the chaos, Tony screaming for his AI, unaware that Tim has already shot it down. Temporarily, of course, there is no reason to destroy such a beautiful piece of technology.

Black Widow is the first to notice that Robin is missing. Damian really is good, he would have been perfectly capable of slipping them on his own and with Tims little distraction, yeah he has already left the building by now.

Tim remotely locks the door to the room, before any of them can even think about following his little brother. It is lucky for them that the screen they called him on is waterproof, or they would have had to fix everything by themselves. As it is, Tim only lets them suffer for about five minutes before turning everything back to normal.

The drenched Avengers is kind of a miserable sight as they look from the pair of handcuffs on the floor, to the screen. Tim kinda enjoys the horrified looks some of them sents him, it is always nice to be respected. He gives them his best Red Robin smile.

“Don’t let there be a next time, because I will only go easy on you ones.” With that Tim shots both computers off. It won’t take more than fifteen minutes to erase every trace of him from the building and surrounding area, before he goes to meet Damian at their agreed-upon rondevu point. 

Maybe there will even be time to grab a coffee on the way. Tim has earned one.

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to get back into writing. I still have a few unfinished fics in another fandom that I will get back to and finish at some point, but don't expect it to be soon. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed the read :-)


End file.
